part 5 - CREATING A NEW STORY

They were sisters and close friends of Jesus. Martha was most likely the older of the two and was practical, efficient, and hospitable. Her steadfast dedication to service was a defining aspect of her character.

We’re told she was distracted by “much serving” and became worried, troubled, and openly frustrated with her sister because she wasn’t helping her and doing what she wanted and thought she should be doing. 

In her desire to control the situation and others’ actions, Martha judged their motives. She felt unsupported, her actions driven by a need to “do the right thing” and “follow the rules.” She aimed to please those she served but felt trapped in her circumstances.

Contrasting Martha’s actions, Mary made a notable choice. She focused on Jesus, opting for “that good part,” which cannot be taken from her.

She was looking through a different lens than her sister and cherished “true education” and “true service” more than anything else.

She was humble, felt conviction, wanted a genuine experience, sought authentic connections, and showed loyal dedication.

She did not look for recognition or compensation.

I decided to study this topic further and took notes.

The story of Martha and Mary is not about who was right or wrong, or who was superior.

It’s about understanding their unique life journeys, the reasons behind their actions, and the circumstances that led them to where they were.

Here are some intriguing insights about Martha and Mary.

I realized how much my life experience had changed and transformed me and how I had been Martha, devoted to doing the good and the right thing.

But inside, I longed to be Mary and wondered if I’d ever be.

Contemplating the trials and tribulations God guided me through, I am filled with a deep sense of gratitude. His hand has safely led me to the other side, where I stand today. This journey has not only transformed my life but also my mission. I have reached a place where I now appreciate the importance of overcoming the trauma and survival patterns that no longer serve me, establishing a deep connection with God, and fostering healthy relationships and social interactions with proper boundaries.

And it wouldn’t happen just because I wanted it to or because I knew something nobody else did. No. It would happen when I fully understood the most critical part of the journey.

The piece of the picture that would develop the Mary in me.

The slice of understanding that would make God’s Unconditional Love (Hesed) truly understood and felt and help me to recover, heal, and share my story.

I did this to demonstrate the “two archetypes,” namely the “wounded believer” and the “seeker,” to illustrate the shared experiences among the scattered flock of God’s people who are healing from religious trauma.

The “wounded believer” is not just a concept but a deeply personal journey. It’s a path I’ve walked, one marked by the scars of religious trauma and the slow, steady process of healing.

The “seeker,” on the other hand, is a fellow traveler who, like me, is on a spiritual journey, seeking a deeper connection with God.

This understanding not only provides a framework for discussion and reflection but shines a light on the immense potential for growth, maturation, and expansion inherent in the healing journey from religious trauma.

This narrative serves as a reliable guide, marking our road to recovery from misguided religion and education, making a genuine connection to God possible.

I want to give hope to those ready to create a “New Story” on this pilgrimage, which highlights life-changing inspiration, motivation, and awareness, creating complete freedom from indoctrinated false beliefs and the trauma patterns that follow.

It’s a path filled with Unconditional Love, where we uncover the essence of salvation, establish authentic principles to live by, and grasp the techniques that Jesus employed with individuals.

HOWEVER… it’s also a path challenged and sometimes dictated by multiple “flavors” (interpretations and practices) of Christianity.

The type of world that introduces the greatest and latest new theories, teachings, beliefs, programs, literature to distribute, and actions to perform, all promising to still your fears, prepare you for the impending crisis and make you worthy to meet Jesus when He comes.

On a more serious note, you might find yourself in a highly structured or controlled religious environment with strict rules and expectations, which can sometimes feel overwhelming and oppressive.

Or, possibly, you’re a member of a church or group who isn’t seen, heard, understood, or supported, leaving you feeling isolated, suppressed, unworthy, and lonely.

THEREFORE… it’s crucial to establish a personal connection to the ULTIMATE SOURCE of knowledge, wisdom, and light (for yourself) to see, understand, and navigate the healing path.

It’s where you learn how to unravel the trauma (which involves acknowledging and understanding the past pain), instill the truth (by seeing who God truly is and isn’t), and create a new story (in which your authentic self takes the lead).

It’s where you trust in God’s guiding and directing influence, rest in the present moment, and discover your deepest heart’s desire.

In this realm, you’re not anonymous, unimportant, or unremarkable but a unique individual cherished and seen by God. In turn, you gain the ability to see others through His eyes.

It’s where your God-given talents, gifts, and skills are recognized and celebrated, empowering you to create a meaningful life that changes the terrain around you.

And yes, a place where your healed trauma patterns become your greatest assets, ensuring your safe arrival at the final destination.

When writing about the journey of those “healing from religious trauma,” I can’t help but think about the “Soldaderas Women” of the Mexican Revolution and how they fought for what they truly believed. They actively secured their lands, houses, and families. 

These women went to war and fought alongside their men. They cooked and cared for the camps, administered medical treatment, rode horses, carried weapons, and led entire units into battle, some with children under their skirts.

While their jobs varied widely, they had one thing in common. They were courageous and earned deep respect in their supporting roles. They demonstrated perseverance and a fighting spirit. Through small deeds and large heroic acts, they impacted the entire revolution. Many victories were won because of the Soldaderas’ undaunted fearlessness.

As “Christian Soldiers and Soldaderas,” we may learn a lesson here. While we won’t be brandishing guns and knives, the battle for recovery does require fierceness, bravery, courage, and a persevering spirit.

It also requires a like-minded community, camaraderie, and banding together. Many of us can get pretty far by ourselves, but we can get much further and faster together.

How exciting!

In addition, looking at the bigger picture, experience proves we have much to gain as we learn from those who have gone before us.

I’m not going to lie to you. This is not an easy journey, nor is it a straight path.

But it is a satisfying adventure with the possibility of victory around every corner, especially when we travel it together, standing on the shoulders of giants!

I named one “type,” Martha Lynn (the larger segment), and the other Mary Jo (the smaller segment).

Martha Lynn and Mary Jo represent “The Christian Soldiers/Soldaderas Journey” for those “healing from religious or spiritual trauma and abuse.”

It’s the tale of my journey from an insecure victim of false religious beliefs to an inspired, deeply connected overcomer.

But those are the endpoints.

It’s the stuff —the pain, the trauma, and the never-ending obstacles in the “messy middle” —that’s essential.

I’ve heard it said:

I agree.

I’ve also realized that life is a preparatory school that sometimes requires severe training.

When I started my “Christian Soldaderas Journey,” I leaned towards the Martha Lynn “archetype.” There was no question about it.

My vision was –flawed.

My approach –immature.

Along the way, I discovered that Martha Lynn, despite her best efforts, couldn’t ascend to the mountain’s summit. The authentic Christian experience she yearned for always seemed to slip through her fingers, a constant source of frustration and longing.

UNTIL… she embraced change.

Transformed.

As Martha Lynn, when entrenched in the battle and crisis scenes, I discovered that I had a choice:

👉 I could either continue behaving as the Martha Lynn “archetype”…

(a choice that would require me to fight the “monsters” in perpetual crisis until I became sick, discouraged, and gave up altogether 😟),

…or I could address my underlying (likely false) belief systems and change my thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

IN ORDER TO…

👉 Integrate a very different “archetype” represented by Mary Jo in the “Christian Soldaderas Journey.”

(Blending the various elements of both higher selves would grant me the skills, insight, and proficiency to experience a cohesive and harmonious paradigm shift 😊.)

The transformation itself wasn’t instant.

It wasn’t like flicking a light switch💡.

Click. Done.

Sadly, no.

Doesn’t work like that.

The “secret” 🤫 —the elixir I discovered and wanted to share…

-through my story,

-through my testimony,

-through my mission,

…would help the Martha Lynns of the world to navigate through the battle and crisis and emerge on the other side with the most cherished attributes of Mary Jo WITHOUT losing the character, personality, and sacred parts of Martha Lynn.

By now, you’ve probably discovered this isn’t only a story for those “healing from religious trauma.”

Nope.

These principles and concepts can be applied to all kinds of generational trauma patterns that may have roots in various types of physical, emotional, and even sexual abuse, including co-dependency, narcissistic abuse, and victim mentality.

The absolute truth is that any trauma can create trauma patterns that can keep us from moving forward in our lives, whether small or large. If we endure the “battle” to overcome and emerge victorious, our lives will be transformed forever.

It’s the inner work. The deep transformation that matters. We get tumbled around. The rough edges get knocked off.

Then, the miracle happens.

We feel seen and can see.

We feel heard and can hear.

We have purpose and see purpose in others.

We emerge as a polished gemstone, a testament to our perseverance and understanding of how to cooperate with God.

We find the freedom and joy in using our natural gifts and talents for good.

We gain a clear perspective that guides our way.

WE CAN NOW BE USED and be effective.

But, of course, not everyone who attempts the journey will come out on the other side transformed. Many wannabe soldiers and soldaderas, most even, are not fully enrolled in the journey. They don’t see their way clearly to step onto the path or don’t care enough about the change required to transform, so they remain, Martha Lynn, conforming only on the outside and staying in the battle forever.

MARTHA LYNN, “The Action Taker and Wounded Believer,” represents the initial stage of the journey, where action is needed to disrupt the religious trauma patterns and begin to heal. Martha Lynn embodies the struggle and the first steps toward personal growth and healing.

👉 The Starting Point

INSECURE VICTIM OF FALSE RELIGIOUS BELIEFS

A life influenced by the control of others created a need to control others herself and be in charge of her circumstances and outcomes, directed by an externally oriented, disconnected, and intuitively lacking Martha Lynn.

NOTE: Martha Lynn’s trust was misplaced, as she found herself loving and trusting in man more than God.

MARY JO, “The Contemplator and Seeker,” represents the final stage of the spiritual journey. Here, contemplation and acceptance pave the way for complete healing, and Mary Jo’s quest for an authentic spiritual experience culminates in a deep connection with God.

👉 The Ending Point

AN INSPIRED ADVOCATE FOR A MEANINGFUL, DEEPLY CONNECTED LIFE

A life influenced and directed by the newly transformed, inspired, motivated, aware, and genuinely free Mary Jo, mixed with a balance of the strengths, gifts, and skills of Martha Lynn.

NOTE: Mary Jo’s transformed life gave her the deep connection she longed for as she left Martha Lynn’s insecurities and fears behind.

And I learned something.

Martha Lynn may represent you right now, if not entirely, a close enough match to make you uncomfortable.

While Martha Lynn was loyal, always serving others, and busy, she didn’t know how to choose “That Good Part.”

Her actions were not driven by direct inspiration. While she was busy serving others and tending to the externals and forms, her motivation was finite and self-serving.

While she longed to please God and those she was serving, she was disconnected and unaware of people’s actual needs or even her own real needs. She often found herself out of touch with her intuition (that still small voice) and, therefore, didn’t always make the best decisions.

Martha Lynn’s understanding of Godly Principles, The Plan of Salvation, and The Methods God Uses was seen through a filtered screen of her past traumas and incomplete database. Her relationships lacked genuine connection and authenticity. She was an expert on outward conformity but yearned for the inward transformation that would make her efforts toward her mission and purpose successful.

Mary Jo operates entirely differently than Martha Lynn.

She’s inspired and motivated by The Holy Spirit. She hears “the still small voice” directing her life and feels secure and safe.

She has unraveled her own trauma story, letting go of ego-based generational programming, and is now aware of the things that have only been an unconscious blur in the past. This newfound awareness has freed her, and she now feels genuinely liberated.

Mary Jo has allowed God to heal her and transform her life. She understands God’s Unconditional Love for her and is satisfied. This deep connection to God fills her with a spiritual longing and a child-like curiosity about Him.

Studying and teaching “The Principles” that govern her heart and mind and learning “His Methods,“ she now looks forward to spending time with God and is learning how to cooperate with Him.

Mary Jo no longer needs to control others, circumstances, or outcomes. She is free, so she can set others free. She safely trusts in God’s Providential Leading for her life. She has begun to use and develop her God-given talents, gifts, and skills in service to others and is succeeding in forming genuine connections. She naturally sees the needs of others because her own needs are met.

She understands her life purpose and calling now. She knows how to use her “life experiences” and “education in sorrows” as her lesson book. She cultivates a thankful heart and, in cooperation with God, has created a “New Story” for her life.

It’s a lifelong journey.

An adventure.

A massive education.

In the process, our lives intersect.

We connect.

We heal together.

We serve together.

We share our life experiences.

We become lifelong friends for now and for eternity.

Through my journey, I learned that even a tiny dose of perseverance, hope, and faith goes a long way. They have the power to transform your life, enabling you to craft a brand-new storyline with a happy ending.

Deep within, I always knew that one day, I’d return to the starting point, the beginning of my journey, where the first spark of inspiration ignited.

From there, I’d extend my hand to those starting on their paths, those taking their first steps. I’d be there, unwavering, walking alongside them, ready to cheer them on.

I’d strive to offer the necessary tools to make a significant difference on their journey.

Remove the obstacles.

Ensure their progress.

Help them reach their destination.

I’d be a “guide” of sorts, an escort, a chaperone, and a friendly face.

I’d develop a road map and create an environment that allowed actual growth without judgment—somewhere they could find the answers they needed. 

I wanted to offer something to the small segment of those “healing from religious trauma” who are on a journey towards a more accessible, more straightforward, and more direct route to their true heart’s desire.

And in the moments when they stumbled, I’d be committed to being there to provide encouragement and assure them that someone deeply cares about their journey and their safe arrival at the final destination.

After all, why should anyone have to walk a long, lonely path when they could walk it with others by their side, get to their destination faster, and enjoy the shared journey and fellowship of those who understand?