part 5 - the tale of two believers

They were sisters and close friends of Jesus. Martha was most likely the older of the two and was a practical, efficient, and hospitable person.

We’re also told she was distracted with “much serving” and became worried, troubled, and openly frustrated with her sister because she wasn’t helping her and doing what she wanted and what she thought she ought to be doing.

Martha needed to control the situation and other people’s actions and judge their motives. She felt like no one supported her. She was accustomed to “doing the right thing” and “following the rules.” She wanted to please those she was serving but felt like a victim of her circumstances.

On the other hand, Mary chose “that good part.”

She was looking through a different lens than her sister and cherished “true education” and “true service” more than anything else.

She was humble, felt conviction, wanted a genuine experience, sought authentic connections, and showed loyal dedication.

She did not look for recognition or compensation.

I decided to study this topic further and took notes.

The story of Martha and Mary isn’t a comparison of right or wrong or of one person being better than the other. It’s more of recognizing where they were in their life experience. We don’t know why they showed these pattern traits or how they arrived at this place.

Here are a few things I discovered.

I realized how much my journey had changed and transformed me and how I had been Martha, devoted to doing the good and the right thing.

But inside, I longed to be Mary and wondered if I’d ever be.

I thought about how God had led me through many trials and tribulations, and I reflected on how He landed me safely on the other side, where I am today. I recognized how this journey not only transformed my life but also my mission. I came to a place where I began to understand what it would take to have a deep sense of connection to God, overcome the trauma and survival patterns that no longer served me, and enjoy healthy relationships and social interactions with proper boundaries.

And it wouldn’t happen just because I wanted it to or because I knew something nobody else did. No. It would happen when I fully understood the most critical part of the journey.

The piece of the picture that would develop the Mary in me.

The slice of understanding that would make God’s Unconditional Love (Hesed) truly understood and felt and help me to recover, heal, and share my story.

I did this to demonstrate the “two archetypes” that make up the broad majority of believers that go on a journey seeking a real connection to God, and want to heal and recover from religious trauma.

This idea emphasizes and reveals the growth, maturation, and expansion necessary in the experience of a person “healing from religious trauma.”

Why? So you can better understand, not only my own journey, but that of other people that are seeking a true connection, and a deeper sense of knowing God, while recovering from false religion and false education.

I want to clearly illuminate the pilgrimage of those wanting to create a “New Story” in their lives, and go on this journey of freedom from indoctrinated false belief systems, and the trauma patterns that followed.

It’s a walk of inspiration, motivation, awareness, freedom, and hope of real transformation. This is an endeavor filled with unconditional love. It includes a venture to discover the true science of salvation, establish true principles to live by, and understand the methods and techniques that Jesus used with individuals.

The results of following this route will give you a genuine experience, authentic connections, true transformation, and a life lived with purpose.

BUT… It’s also a path that’s challenged with various “flavors” of Christianity, too. The type of world that’s always introducing the “greatest and latest” new theories, teachings, beliefs, programs, literature to hand out, and actions to perform, that promises to “still” all your fears, prepare you for the impending crisis, and make you worthy to meet Jesus when He comes.

Therefore, it’s imperative to have a personal, direct connection to the SOURCE of all knowledge, wisdom, and light. Where you know the TRUTH for yourself and live by TRUE PRINCIPLES everyday. Where you have peace and trust in God’s Providential Leading in your life, and can rest in the present moment, knowing your individual purpose in this world.

In this world, you feel seen by God, and you’re able to see others through His eyes. It’s a place where your God-given talents, gifts, and skills are put to use creating a meaningful life that changes the terrain around you. And yes, a world where your established trauma patterns, when healed, become your greatest gifts.

When writing about the journey of those “healing from religious trauma,” I can’t help but think about the “Soldaderas Women” of the Mexican Revolution and how they fought for what they truly believed to be right. They became active participants in securing their own lands, houses, and families.

These women went to war and fought right along side of their men. They cooked and cared for the camps, administered medical treatment, rode horses, carried weapons, and lead entire units into battle. Some with children under their skirts.

While their jobs varied widely they had one thing in common. They were brave and courageous and earned deep respect in their supporting roles. They demonstrated perseverance and a fighting spirit. Through small deeds, as well as large heroic acts, they impacted the entire revolution. Many victories were won because of the undaunted fearlessness of the Soldaderas.

We as “Christian Soldiers and Soldaderas” may learn a lesson here. While we won’t be brandishing guns and knives, the battle for recovery does require fierceness, bravery, courage, and a persevering spirit.

It also requires like-minded community, comradery, and a banding together. Many of us can get pretty far all by ourselves, but we can get much further, much faster, together.

Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. The ability to direct individual accomplishments toward organizational objectives. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.

Andrew Carnegie

How exciting! In addition, looking at the bigger picture, experience proves we have much to gain as we learn from those that have gone before us.

“If I have seen further, it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.”

Sir Isaac Newton

I’m not going to lie to you. This is not an easy journey, nor is it a straight path.

But it is a satisfying adventure with the possibility of victory around every corner, especially when we travel it together, standing on the shoulders of giants!

I named one “type,” Martha Lynn (the larger segment). The other, Mary Jo (the smaller segment).

Martha Lynn and Mary Jo represent “The Christian Soldiers/Soldaderas Journey” for those “healing from religious or spiritual trauma and abuse”.

It’s the tale of my own journey. From then insecure victim of false religious beliefs to an inspired deeply connected overcomer.

→ But those are the endpoints ←

It’s the stuff, and the pain, and the trauma, and the never ending obstacles that happened in “the messy middle,” that’s important.

I’ve heard it said:

“Adults learn through massive trauma.”

David Buss (professor of psychology)

I agree. I’ve also come to realize life is a preparatory school that sometimes requires severe training.

“All who in this world render true service to God or man receive a preparatory training in the school of sorrow. The weightier the trust and the higher the service, the closer is the test and the more severe the discipline.”

Education, p. 151.4, E.G. White

When I started my “Christian Soldaderas Journey,” I leaned towards the Martha Lynn “archetype”. No question about it.

My vision was –flawed.

My approach –immature.

Along the way, I learned that Martha Lynn wasn’t capable of ascending to the summit of the mountain. Whatever having a true Christian experience represented to Martha Lynn, it always eluded her.

Until she embraced change.

Transformed.

As Martha Lynn, when entrenched in the battle and crisis scenes, I discovered that I had a choice:

I could either remain behaving as the Martha Lynn “archetype” (a choice that would require that I stay fighting the “monsters” in perpetual crisis until I became sick, discouraged and gave up altogether)…

OR…

I could transform into a very different “archetype”; represented as Mary Jo in the “Christian Soldaderas Journey”.

The transformation itself wasn’t instant.

It wasn’t like flicking a light switch.

Click. Done.

Sadly, no.

Doesn’t work like that.

The only way to make the transformation – to embrace the higher, more lovely parts, of both Martha Lynn and Mary Jo – was to choose the call to adventure, go on the journey, and enter the battle.

Experience the trauma of suffering.

Navigate obstacles.

Slay the “monsters”.

The “secret” — the elixir I discovered and wanted to share…

-through my story,

-through my testimony

-through my mission

…would help the Martha Lynn’s of the world to navigate through the battle and crisis and emerge on the other side with the most cherished attributes of Mary Jo WITHOUT losing the character, personality, and sacred parts of Martha Lynn.

By now, you’ve probably discovered that this isn’t only a story for those “healing from religious trauma”. Nope. These principles and concepts can be applied to all kinds of generational trauma patterns that may have a root in various kinds of physical, emotional, and even sexual abuses, including co-dependency, narcissistic abuse, and victim mentality.

Because the real truth is, any kind of trauma can create trauma patterns that can keep us from moving forward in our lives, whether small or large. If we endure the “battle” to overcome, and come out victorious, our lives will be transformed forever.

At the same time, we will make a huge impact on the lives of those around us when we heal and stop the cycle of abuse from reaching the next generation.

It’s the inner work. The deep transformation that matters. We get tumbled around. The rough edges get knocked off.

Then the miracle happens.

We feel seen and can see.

We feel heard and can hear.

We have purpose and see purpose in others.

We emerge a polished gemstone that understands how to cooperate with God.

We find the freedom to use our natural gifts and talents for good.

We see our lives clearly.

WE CAN NOW BE USED and be effective.

But, of course, not everyone who attempts the journey will come out on the other side transformed. Many wannabe soldiers and soldaderas, most even, are not fully enrolled in the journey. They don’t see their way clear to step onto the path or don’t care enough about the change required to transform, so they remain Martha Lynn, conforming only on the outside, and remain in the battle forever.

The starting point → INSECURE VICTIM OF FALSE RELIGIOUS BELIEFS → a life influenced by the control of others which created a need to control others herself and be in charge of her own circumstances and outcomes, directed by an externally oriented, disconnected, and intuitively lacking Martha Lynn.

NOTE: Martha Lynn loved and trusted in man more than God.

The ending point → AN INSPIRED ADVOCATE FOR A MEANINGFUL, DEEPLY CONNECTED LIFE → a life influenced and directed by the newly transformed, inspired, motivated, aware, and truly free Mary Jo, mixed with a balance of the strengths, gifts, and skills of Martha Lynn.

NOTE: Mary Jo’s transformed life gave her the deep connection she longed for as she left the insecurities and fears of Martha Lynn behind.

And I learned something.

“Action and contemplation are very close companions; they live together in one house on equal terms. Martha and Mary are sisters.“

Quote from Bernard of Clairvaus (1090 – 1153)

Martha Lynn may represent you right now; if not entirely, certainly a close enough match to possibly make you feel uncomfortable.

While Martha Lynn was loyal, always serving others, and busy, she didn’t know how to choose “That Good Part.”

She wasn’t coming from a place of direct inspiration. Even while she was busy serving others and taking care of the externals and forms, her MOTIVATION was finite and self-serving.

While she longed to please God and those she was serving, she was disconnected, and wasn’t aware of people’s true needs, or even of her own real needs. She often found herself out-of-touch with her own intuition (that still small voice) and therefore didn’t always make the best decisions.

Her understanding of Godly Principles, The Plan of Salvation, and The Methods God Uses, were seen through a filtered screen of her past traumas and incomplete database. Her relationships lacked true connection and authenticity. She was an expert on outward conformity, but lacked the inward transformation she longed for, so her efforts towards her mission and purpose were not very successful.

Mary Jo operates entirely differently than Martha Lynn.

She’s inspired and motivated by The Holy Spirit. She hears “the still small voice” directing her life and feels secure and safe. She has unraveled her own trauma story and is now aware of the things that have only been an unconscious blur in the past. She now feels truly free.

Mary Jo has allowed God to heal her and transform her life. She understands God’s Unconditional Love for her personally and is satisfied. This gives her a deep sense of connection to God and a child-like curiosity to know more about Him.

Studying and inculcating “The Principles” that govern her heart and mind, and learning “His Methods“, is a joy. She now looks forward to spending time with God and is learning daily how to cooperate with Him.

Mary Jo no longer feels a need to control others, circumstances, or outcomes. She is free so she can set others free. She safely trusts in God’s Providential Leading for her life. She has begun to use and develop her God-given talents, gifts, and skills in service to others and is meeting with success in forming genuine connections. She naturally sees the needs in others because her own needs are met.

She understands her own life purpose and calling now. She knows how to use her “life experiences” and “education in sorrows” as her lesson book. She cultivates a thankful heart and in cooperation with God, has created a “New Story” for her life.

It’s a lifelong journey.

An adventure.

A massive education.

In the process, our lives intersect.

We connect.

We heal together.

We serve together.

We share our life experiences.

We become lifelong friends for now and for eternity.

I learned a little perseverance, hope, and faith goes a long way, and makes it possible to truly create a “New Story” with a happy ending.

And I intuitively knew one day I would come back to the starting point, the beginning of the path, the place where the first ever inspiration came to me that changed my life forever. From there I’d reach out to others that were just starting their own journey. Those just stepping onto the path.

I’d be present, available to offer assistance, cheer them on, stand by their side, and help direct their steps. I’d try my best to provide the necessary things that would make a difference in someone else’s progress, ensure their forward advancement, and help them arrive safely on the other side, with as little mishap as possible.

I would be a “guide” of sorts, an escort, a chaperone, a friendly face. I would develop a road map, an experience path to follow, and create an environment that allowed true growth without judgment. Someplace they could find the answers they needed.

Here they would join together with others on the path making it possible to find their own courage, strength, and undying perseverance.

I wanted to offer something to the small segment of those “healing from religious trauma” that wanted an easier, clearer, and more direct route to their true heart’s desire. And just in case they stumbled along the way, I wanted to be there to provide encouragement, and let them know someone cared about the outcome and safe arrival at the final destination.

After all, why should anyone have to walk a long lonely path when they could walk it with others by their side, get to their destination faster, and enjoy the fellowship of those that understand?